Lost in a Wilderness...

Has anyone felt like they are lost and don't know what they want? I know that no one is reading this, but I have to get this out. For the past year, I have had a pain inside of me that can't be filled. I have tried making lists (I am a list maniac), researching the meaning of life on google (as a joke), meditating, praying, shouting, writing, crying, anything...just hoping someone will hear me. I feel like I am supposed to be going out on a grand adventure, maybe not a big vacation, just do something with my life. I have watched a million movies, had a thousand dreams, read an amassment (I like that word =P) of books, but it just keeps me wanting more, more, more...I just want an adventure, a simple adventure of life, and I know that it is in my grasp, I just can't quite reach it because I cannot think of what it is. I ought to live spontaneously and I used to love life and know exactly who I was. I know that I am not supposed to completely understand who I am, but I just want to know what I could be doing right now! If anyone reads this, I hope you know what I'm talking about. Adios...

Honduras

For my thirteenth birthday, my mom and I went to Honduras. Pretty big present right? We had a friend in the Peace Corps there and she invited us to stay with her in Lapaera (not sure if I spelled that right). The reason we were going was because my mom is a geographer amd she had done a study for college on presbyterian churches, so she was catching up on the new statistics. We landed in San Pedro and alighted into a land filled with steep mountains and some palm trees. The view was amazing! We took a taxi to the bus station where we waited on a hot bus for an hour waiting for it to take us to the next stop. Once the bus started moving, we winded up the mountains, passing small huts and towns. The ride lasted a few hours until finally, we arrived at another bus stop. We wandered around in the town for a while, trying to find a bus that would take us toward Lapaera. Finally, we found one. After that bus ride, we waited for a car to take us the rest of the way. A car finally stopped to let us in, but it was crammed. People filled up nearly all of the seats, so I hesitated, thinking that we wouldn't be able to fit, but my mom wouldn't have that. She just pushed me in, saying, “That's the way you do it in Honduras. They'll make room.” Sure enough, they did. I was crammed in between a Honduran soldier and a young girl. My mom sat in the back. Everyone in the car spoke Spanish except me. My mom was pretty fluent, so she chattered on in the back. The car's brakes didn't work that well, so when we went on steep curves on the mountain side, the car would screech as the driver slammed us into a sharp turn, leaving us leaning over a cliff! Finally, we reached Lapaera, but no one would help us find the girl that we were staying with. Eventually, we ran into a priest who knew her and he was kind enough to lead us to her house. She lived in an upstairs apartment that had clay walls and was rather humid. The lightbulbs just hung down from the ceiling, having no protection around them. That night, we played a lot of card games and I made maccarroni and cheese over a small stove. A very non-typical meal there, but it worked for that day. Normally, in Honduras, the one thing we ate was platos tipical (not sure on the spelling) which was a dish containing flat bread, eggs, and one other thing. Roughly translated it means typical dish. The next day, we toured around Lapaera, wandering around the dirt roads, the cracked paved roads, and the mountain passes. That night, we ate dinner with some of her Honduran friends, a mother and two children. She didn't speak English, but Mom translated for me. The next day, we went to Gracias. After that, we got on a bus in the early morning before it was even light yet to San Juan, where we just stayed for a few hours. Next, we continued on to Eran Dique. Eran Dique was famous for their opals. The Peace Corp friend that we had been staying with had a friend in Eran Dique, so later that day, we ran into him. We visited with him for a while and he gave me an unpolished opal. Some of my memories are fuzzy, but there are some parts that I remember, but it would take forever to describe all I did in Honduras. We stayed for a week and we came back to the States on my birthday. The people I met there were amazing and I learned a lot from their culture.

My Violin

I got a brand new violin today! I've been thinking about playing for a long time and I finally got one. It is a SV 175 violin and it works really well. It has a horse-hair bow and is made of dark wood.

I'm going to get lessons soon from one of my dad's college students.

My life thus far

I don't know where my life is going, but I do know that somehow, I'll make it through the hardships and enjoy the good things in life. College is a big decision and so is the rest of my life, so I'll just wait until I get to that mountain to try to climb it one step at a time. I want to do service work, but I don't know what to do! I love Lord of the Rings, fairies, reading, writing (even though I've been stuck recently), quotes, Pirates of the Carribean, good movies, trying to skateboard, and other things like playing soccer.